Friday, January 4, 2019

Dear Oldest Child; I'm Sorry

When I decided to have children, I was like most every other parent out there. First kid, Ok, this isn't TOO horrible. I am pretty sure I can handle another. So you decide to have another one. Two is a juggle but you got it worked out with the oldest in school and the baby now on a schedule. You got this, so you decide to have another. Let me tell you, SHIT IS CHAOTIC. You lose your shit before breakfast is over, your kids are hitting, kicking, screaming while running like lunatics through the house. You spend more time getting everyone in the car than it takes to get where you're going. Shit is just a hot mess and three is not a great number of kids to have if you;

  • Don't like yelling all day long. 
  • Want to be completely outnumbered at any given time, even with your hubs or boyfriend as back up.
  • Enjoy sleeping for more than two hour increments for the first five years of their lives.
  • Don't mind being a short order cook, chauffeur, boss, mom, party planner, doctor, referee, nearly everything to tiny humans for most of their life. 
Then it gets better, in some ways. But then comes the parental guilt. The guilt you feel for your oldest child because they are the oldest. I'm feeling this guilt hardcore these last couple days as my kids end their 2.5 week holiday break. Guilt like I've never felt before, even when my oldest has annoyed the shit out of me, stomped on my every last nerve before I've even gotten out of bed in the morning, and he's asked me 400 questions about fish that I don't have any idea about at all. Here's my apology. 

     Dear Kiddo,

I don't really know what else to say but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I spend most all day dealing with your little brothers who terrorize the house, you, the animals, and destroy everything in their path. I'm sorry that I don't have time to go for a walk, or even walk down to the mailbox with you. I'm sorry that I tell you "In a minute" then seemingly run our of minutes because there's always one more thing to do. There's always something that needs doing; diaper changes, snacks for you and your brothers, meals, bath time, homework. There's just always something. 

I'm so sorry that I don't get to spend any one-on-one time with you. Your baby brother gets me in the morning while you and your brother are at school. Then your middle brother gets me between the hours of his getting home and yours when baby bro is sleeping. By the time you get home from school, everyone is home and awake too. I try to get your brothers down before you go to bed so I have even a few minutes with you, but it doesn't always work out. 

I feel really bad that I can't spend more time with you, or that I am so tired from dealing with your brothers, or that it's just always one more thing. I'm working on making it better, and as your brothers get a little older and more independent, it will get better because they will (hopefully) be able to handle themselves better. I'm trying to make time for all of you in my limited time I have each day but there are three of you, and your brothers are very close in age, and there is only one of me. 

I'm working on not reacting when I'm tired and you ask me for the 79th time about a fish I've never heard of. I'm working on not snapping at you when it's not your fault that I'm at my very end of my rope by 5 in the evening. I really am trying. I just need you to have a bit of patience with me. And I'm working on having more for you as well. 

I love you kiddo. I know that it might not always feel like it when I'm tired, upset, crying, or picking you up from school for another suspension. I realize that some of the behavior and attitude I get from you is likely my own fault. I must be doing something right though, cuz you keep asking for my attention. You keep on trying. So I'll keep on trying too. 


Friday, October 12, 2018

Just Add Color Will Make Your Party Pop

So I've seen them a dozen times, people wanting to surprise their friends and family, or their kids, with the gender of their next baby, so they fill balloons with pink or blue dust (purple if it's boy/girl twins I guess) for a fun reveal. I've seen them, and always thought it was a cute idea, but never knew where I would get the stuff to do it as sand always seemed like it would be too heavy. Now you don't have to wonder anymore. Just Add Color is the perfect thing you need to have a colorful reveal, birthday, or just a good old, fashioned color war. 

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Saturday, October 6, 2018

How To Make Colloidal Oatmeal For Cheaper Than You Can Buy It

I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned it quite a few times, if I haven't, it sure seems like it since I talk about it in my daily life, but Lil' G has BAD eczema. Pair that with his horrible, limiting food allergies and the kid has the skin of a zombie alligator. Seriously it's pretty bad. He always has scabs on his legs, and little red bumps everywhere from hives, itching, or just irritated skin because he's so effin allergic to life that his skin just can't handle it. He should be in a bubble, but I refuse! 

One thing that we can never be without in our house is colloidal oatmeal for baths, but that shit's expensive, yo! For a kid that needs it almost daily, it's really not practical to buy the Aveeno colloidal oatmeal powder for bath time since he literally needs it everyday, sometimes twice. Even if you don't have skin allergies, colloidal oatmeal is just great for your skin and leaves it soft and smooth. Seriously, this is the easiest thing to make ever, and you more than likely already have everything you need in your kitchen.

You Need:

  • 1 cup unflavored rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup baking soda
  • Blender
  1. Combine ingredients in the blender. Grind until a fine dust forms. 
  2. Dump ground contents in container with a lid. 
  3. Use as needed in a warm bath. 
Simply place a few spoonfuls in the tub and soak. You don't need to rinse it off before getting out unless you have chunks of oatmeal stuck to you. The great thing about colloidal oatmeal is that the baking soda in the mixture will help to suck out any of the toxins or puffiness in your skin while the oatmeal helps to heal cracked skin and helps to replace and repair the elasticity in your skin. 

Happy bathing, y'all! I'm out!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

How to Stay Warm This Winter When You're Broke AF

Ya'll! Winter is coming. Like really just around the corner, some places close to where I live have even gotten snow already. Winter utility bills SUCK. They are usually high no matter what sort of things you try. There is no helping that there are fewer daylight hours in the day so you have to turn on a light unless you are accustomed to living in the dark or reading by candle light. Also, if you don't turn the heater on, you're going to get some major potential for mold because of the cold. If you are like me, and want your house to be cozy but don't like that bill to do it, then here are some cheaper alternatives that you can try out to keep yourself warm but your utility bill low.

1. Build a fire

I know that not everyone can do this because they don't have a fireplace, but even if you're outside, get a little fire pit, or make one with some old bricks. Not only is it a great way to get rid of your paper recycling, but you can stay warm, toast marshmallows, and keep your utility bill low. Also, some places make fake fireplaces that you can simply plug into the wall that heat and look like real fire but it's all-electric, or gas. Option three; Set your house on fire then you don't have to worry about the utility bill at all.

2. Leave the oven door open

After cooking dinner or baking cookies, or whatever you're making in your oven, leave the oven door open so that the heat can warm the house as it cools down. If you have children or pets, you will want to think of the best safety precautions for your family, but this is a great way to use that heat. Our kitchen is always gated off because Lil' G can reach the knobs. I actually do not want him to burn down my house, and it keeps my pups pinned. 

3. Snuggle

Grab the hubby or boyfriend. Grab the kids. Find your fur-baby. Or grab a blanket and a book and snuggle on the couch while you watch a movie or read. The closer you are, the more body heat you'll generate to warm each other. It's a great idea for some together time with your loved ones or by yourself. Creating body heat while the heat is turned down will keep you warm but the house won't be so hot.

4. Add layers

Who says that you can't wear your sweats and a hoodie in the living room while you chillax at 2 in the afternoon? No shame in it. It's pretty comfy actually. If you're especially chilly, add a pair of long johns or tights underneath your sweats and you'll be throw off layers in no time. Chicken (as Moose calls him because of his speech problems) wears long johns almost all year long because he always thinks he's cold. I think it's in his head cuz he never feels cold.

5. Time for your workout

If you're moving around doing your weight loss yoga, Tae Bo, or buns of steel, you're gonna work up a sweat. Then, you'll be wishing it were a little cooler in your house. The more you're moving, the less you're gonna notice the cold.

6. Bedtime Exercise

Obviously, this is only an option for the adults in the house, but need I say more?

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Dear Friends Without Children

Dear Friends Without Children,

   While I love you all dearly, having children has changed my life, as I'm sure you can imagine! Some of this for the better, some of it not. Children have blessed me in the most unimaginable way possible, however, I am still envious of you. Let me give you some examples.